I am a Zombie

     I do not see the point of society when I am all alone...I could no longer wear a mask to hide my decaying body...I am wearing away...and my loneliness deepens with every single cell of my biology that dies...there is no cure to this plague that has come upon me...
      I feel so consumed by my loneliness...all the jobs that I keep can not drown the misery of being alone that I feel...I am surrounded by a crowd of people from all walks of life but I am so alone without him...my mind cries out in pain but nobody hears my loudest screams of agony...my heart is dead yet my mind keeps on living...how can I have my life when the source of blood that keeps a person alive is shattered...physical death is a relief compared to my condition right now...I have done what is impossible to get out of this suffering...but...in vain...I can never get used to this deep dark damp dank den...
     It is never my character to regret what I have done...but now I say that it was never worth my risk and sacrifice...it was the only force that kept me human and now it is gone...it is gone...never to be mine again even just for a single moment...now, I am back to being a monster but worse, I have become a monster to myself...will I find redemption? Will I allow myself to be redeemed? Every single spark of hope in me has died and the power source is no more... 
     I am a zombie.  If only zombies could die...I could find comfort in death...